Love is War
by DeviantWerewolf
Summary: Haven is in the past and everyone has finally settled into Skyhold nicely. Time to get down to business. But what happens when family gets in the way and the Inquisitor has to make a choice.
1. Chapter 1

It's such a strange feeling being watched all of the time, being "protected", though it's not like I'm not used to it. But this is different. Things have changed since Haven. The Mages and Templars are somewhat getting along. A common goal has gotten them talking each other and sharing stories, though neither side completely trusts each other, yet. Can't say I can't blame them. Templars are fed stories to make them either fear mages or hate them or both. Growing up outside the circle and then forced in at an older age because of my own stupidity, has given me a chance to see why each hate either and a larger respect for both sides. I always understood why the Templars did what they did. They have to be cold. If they become comfortable and chummy with their charges, feelings grow and they can't do their jobs properly. Though I'm not saying that they're right in what they do. Both have their faults. None the less, I'm happy that the Breach has done some good.

I breathed a deep sigh and looked away from the massive war table. I liked the little war table better at Haven. It just had something about it. Now it's a pile of ash… Damn dragon-archdemon thing. Maybe we were getting too comfortable in Haven. We have stepped up our game since being in Skyhold. Almost needed to have what happened. Just to get knocked off of our pedestal that we placed ourselves on.

As I looked up I noticed Cullen being more twitchy than usual. What is it with Templars and being twitchy? Even my older twin brothers are twitchy. They joined so they could protect me from the crazy Templars and they became crazy Templars themselves. Thankfully they quit being Templars after Kirkwall and after the circles fell. Still twitchy, but they were kind of twitchy before. You go stir-crazy being a noble child and not allowed to do anything fun. Can't disgrace the family, I did that big time. It was so worth it.

I watched Cullen for a moment; he was reading something that one of the scouts gave him. Hand always on his sword. What is he expecting to happen? That I'll become an abomination? Or better yet, every mage here in Skyhold will become an abomination. That would be a sight to see. Okay I really need to stop thinking like that. My circle was amazing. My brothers were there. I was allowed to leave anytime I wanted. Though I bet my father's money helped with that. Need to stay positive about the Templars. Wow, even I was brain washed while I was in the circle.

Cullen ran his fingers through his hair and then rubbed the back of his neck. The man is pretty. I have to give him that. As I watched him read, he became more uncomfortable. Either he realized I was watching him or there was something in that report that made him uneasy. His uneasiness disappeared as fast as it came and he became twitchy again. Though this twitchiness seemed different than the other Templars, I think it's more the need to protect. But it's not the same as it would be if he had a charge to "protect". He was very upset about Haven. I mean who wasn't? Though I keep thinking back to the first time we spoke at Skyhold. He was doing what he always does, keeping everyone and everything in line. I swear if we didn't have him around, there would be mass chaos. We'd probably still have Templars and Mages fighting if he didn't put his foot down every once in a while. He kept everything running.

That day he looked exhausted. He clearly hadn't slept in a fortnight. Probably hadn't eaten either. Though he seemed more relaxed when I walked over; his eyes soften every flirty joke I said to him. It is fun watching him get all uncomfortable with me. The thought of losing him at Haven, made my stomach flip. He's a good friend and an excellent commander. It would be a tragedy if we lost him. The words he said to me that day still stick. _"I will not allow the events at Haven happen again. You have my word."_ One could read so much into that. Though I know better, Templars and Mages don't mix well.

I flushed from my thoughts and turned my attentions to my other advisors. Leliana and Josephine were reading something as well; I kind of felt awkward without my own piece of paper to read. Both Leliana and Josephine were grinning from ear to ear. They must be reading the same report. Something that would make the girls grin would obviously make Cullen twitch, I needed to know.

I glanced back down at the war table. Markers placed all over Thedas, people needing our help. The simplest things as collecting herds to the most difficult; some grand ball in Orlais came to mind. I hated balls and parties. My family loved them. Well my distant family. My immediate family couldn't have cared less.

As I looked across the map, I noticed a marker being placed in the exact area where my family held land. I looked up to see Leliana with a grin across her face.

"Tis where your family is, is it not?" Her mischievous grin changed to a sweet smile. I can easily see why she was so good at "The Game".

I nodded. "That's about where my father's land is." I chewed my inner cheek. "I can't see why he'd ask for our help. My family is tied closely to the Chantry and the Inquisition is not."

I looked at my three advisors. Each waiting for me to say something. Anything at all. I'm dumb founded. I shrugged my shoulders hoping that would release so tension off of me. Those three can be so stubborn. Always waiting on me for me to make a decision, my job can be so stressful sometimes.

Leliana watched me closely as I squirmed under their prying eyes. "You don't know why your father sent a request in? Your brother's haven't said anything to you at all?"

I stared at Leliana. "Did I not tell you to stop reading my mail?"

"You did." She responded.

"And?" I crossed my arm. Trying to protect any dignity I had, which I usually had none to speak of. I know that she reads everything that comes and goes out of Skyhold. That's what we all agreed upon. We need to protect the Inquisition. Though the letters I sent were personal and not all of the letters were to my brothers that I sent back home. The letters usually sent home were to my best friend, River who became a sister-in-law when she married my brother, Vincent. Elf mage too boot. That was quite the wedding and the sandal it caused. Probably the best party I've been too. The letters I sent to her were extremely private and Leliana knew this. Well she learnt this after I had a melt down on her about reading them. I do recall knives being thrown. Some fireballs, maybe. That was fun. The most action Leliana has seen in a while. Leliana understood after that. There were things that were written on those parchments that really shouldn't have reached paper. Damn you brain.

"I did not read your mail… This time. A letter was sent to each of us. Apparently you'd just throw yours away and wouldn't say anything to us about it." Leliana handed me an envelope with my family seal holding it all together.

I took the envelope from her slowly. I looked at the three of them. "Maybe I should read this prior to the request that has been placed on the table. From each of your reactions, I might want to be prepared."

Josephine, still grinning nodded in agreement. "I think it would be the best for you to learn what needs to be done before we discuss this further."

Cullen shakes his head. "No. We do not need to be discussing this any further. There is no need for any discussion at all."

"Awe, what is wrong Commander? Is there something you don't like about the situation that has arisen from these letters?" Leliana waved her letter around in front of his face.

Cullen's cheeks turned a new shade of rosy red as Leliana teased him. "I, uh," No words could come out of the man's mouth. We were so lucky we were behind closed doors. If the men could see him now, how easy it is to make our commander turn to mush by three attractive women. The Chantry doesn't do well at teaching their men to be smooth with the opposite sex. And I'm not being sexist. Every female Templar I've met, including my sister-in-law, Alice had no problems with men. They were either really strong and didn't care much for being hit on or they knew they were sexy and went with it. Chantry boys are just naive.

I grinned. Cullen was so easy to fluster. It was so cute to watch him twitch like this. I looked down at the letter. There must be something in these letters that make him so uncomfortable. Does it have something to do with me? My eldest brother still needs to be married. Maybe that's what my father wants. Though I don't think it's as simple as that. Something's up.

I looked back up from my letter and smiled. "Leliana, I think our Commander has had enough teasing for one day. Let him leave with some dignity. I think we can break for the day and go back to our other duties." I placed my letter in my inner jacket pocket. "Same time tomorrow everyone, unless later works for everyone?"

"Later would work best for me." Leliana announced as she cleaned her papers up.

"I have to meet with Lady Mistborn tomorrow around noon. Later would work." Josephine stated as she looked down at her papers.

Cullen shrugged. "I guess later it is." His cheeks still flushed as he looked at me. "Until tomorrow."

We all exited the war room in silence. No one could say we didn't look professional. We never continued War Room conversations out in the open. We don't need someone to leak important information.

Leliana and Josephine stayed in Josephine's study to go over a couple things that needed to be done prior to traveling to the Winter Palace. Leliana said something about teaching Cullen and I to dance. I didn't even want to think about what's going to happen that night. I shivered at the thought.

"Are you alright?" Cullen asked as we walked to Throne Room. Glancing down at me with his golden brown eyes, I could get lost in those eyes… Dammit! I really need to keep my thoughts in check.

I nodded. "I'm alright. I was just thinking about the Winter Palace."

"Makes you shiver at the thought as well?" He said softy as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't like the thought of it. Makes me uncomfortable, well any party does."

"No partying for the Templars, eh? The Chantry sounds a little dull. Though that's not always a bad thing, you do less dumb things that people can see. It's a lot better than torching your brother at your Great Aunt's party with a candle. Though it as funny as it was." Why did I just tell him that? Oh I'm going to regret that later.

Cullen chuckled. "You lit you brother on fire at a party? You might want to sit the Winter Palace out then."

I nodded. "Sadly I must be there. Though I think Josephine would prefer if I wasn't." I waved at Varric. He was sitting in his usual spot in front of the fireplace. I walked with Cullen a little longer until we got to the fireplace. "See you later Commander."

"Inquisitor." One word and off he went. I watched him go. I didn't even try to hide it.

Varric leaned around his chair to look at what I was watching. "I don't understand women some times. They always go for the blondes. Hawke's the same. Anders has her so wrapped around her finger."

I looked at Varric. "What are you going on about? You know you really shouldn't say their names around here. Cassandra might over hear."

Varric shook his head. "Nah, she knows that I sent letters to them."

"Now she does" I insisted. Varric had hid some important information from Cassandra prior to the creation of the Inquisition. Varric's best friend, Hawke was the Champion of Kirkwall and supported the Mage rebellion. Cassandra needed her help to run the Inquisition. She wanted to stop the Mage Templar war. I guess I should be thankful that Varric had kept Hawke hidden from Cassandra otherwise I probably wouldn't be where I was.

Varric frowned and then nodded. We sat in silence for a few moments watching the fire. Varric looked at where I had found myself a spot to sit. "How was the meeting?" Varric's way of making small talk, he didn't do well with silence.

I glanced over at him. "It was alright. Thankfully didn't last long."

"What's wrong, Rowen? Don't like being in Curley's company?" The dwarf knew how to make me flush.

I sighed and looked back at the fire. I was close enough to the fire that it could be considered the cause of my bright red cheeks. Don't play his game, Rowen. You know better. "Of course I like being in the Commander's company. He's a dear friend."

"I bet he is." A thick Tevinter accent came from my left.

I looked over to see Dorian leaning on the door frame. How long has he been here? Knowing Dorian, the entire time. I sighed and ignored him. "Anyways, we cut it short due to the fact that everyone in the War Room had been given letters from my father."

"Oh father troubles, eh? I can relate." Dorian took two strides and perched himself on my chair's arm rest with grace and ease.

"I know you can, my friend. I don't really have troubles with my father. I'm confused that he sent all of my advisors letters and myself asking for help, saying that I would just throw the letter away. Does that really sound like me?" I looked from Dorian to Varric. Both shook their heads.

"Exact opposite of you, my dear though you have peaked my interest in the matter. What did the letter say?" Dorian leaned back on the chair's head rest, completely taking over my personal space. I moved over so he could join me on the chair. Dorian slid right in and propped me onto his lap like a small child. There I sat on his lap. People here must think there's something going on between us. The flirting going on between us could start rumors. A shit load of scandal, though I think everyone in Skyhold knows that Dorian and I are just very, very close friends. Can't get any closer to him without being in a relationship, not sure I'd want to be in a relationship with him. He's kind of needy some days. That and he prefers men over women. Completely okay with that, wouldn't have it any other way. Who else would people watch with me and talk about boys. That's something we have and no one can take from us.

I sighed. "I don't know. I haven't read it yet." I reached into the inner pocket of my jacket and pulled the letter out. "I think I might wait until the evening to read it or tomorrow morning. It's probably not all that important."

Varric arched an eyebrow. "Seems pretty important to me if your father sent a copy to all three of your advisors. Maybe you should read it sooner."

I nodded in agreement. "I guess you're right, though I was going to suggest a game of Wicked Grace." I smiled at both Dorian and Varric. I started to stand. "I doubt anyone really wants to play anyways. I think everyone is getting sick of it." I hide my mischievous grin from Varric full well knowing that he could never turn down a game of Wicked Grace.

Don't ever tell me that Dwarves aren't fast. Varric was up and at the entrance the Throne Room before I was standing. "Let me go round up a couple more people and I'll meet you two at Herald's Rest." And off he went to find more people to play.

Dorian and I looked at one another and laughed. Too see such childishness among strong and professional adults trying to save the world was refreshing. We smiled at one another. I helped the pretty boy out of the chair and we made our way to the tavern.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm not sure what time in the morning it was when Dorian and I finally staggered away from the tavern, probably really early in the morning or really late at night. Doesn't matter. This always happens when we play Wicked Grace. Someone ends up without clothes, under the table or lucky enough to be face first on the table. I think Sera was left under the table… again. Cassandra was face first on the table this time and Blackwall ended up with no clothes on, though he did handle it well. He acted like he had all of his armor on and walked head held high to the stables. Can't say I didn't stare. He's a little too old for me and there's something about him I can't get past. But I will admit. He's a damn good looking man under all of that armor.

I felt bad for anyone that had to see the display that Dorian and I were performing. Something about two intoxicated mages singing and dancing together as they somehow made it across the yard to the keep is what nightmares are made of. If someone didn't know better, they would have thought we were performing some type of blood ritual. And a terrible one at that. We weren't the quietest drunks either. I beat everyone in Skyhold knew what was going on. This only happens on a weekly basis… Okay that's a lie. Probably happens every other day. We need to let off steam somehow and spending it with each other is the best way I can think of. Oh the stories I could tell.

Bull followed us making sure that we, and I truly mean Dorian ended up where we were supposed to be and not face first on the steps like the last time. Best sleep I think I have ever had. I can still remember waking up to Cullen staring down at both us with a very unimpressed look on his face. Maybe he was jealous of where Dorian had placed his head and that he was acting like a big spoon, probably why I was so comfortable. That man doesn't know personal space what so ever. I can't understand why Cullen would be jealous of Dorian. The man is gay and my best friend. Cullen and I are friends and he is my advisor. I can never ever see Cullen trying something on me even if he was interested. Either way, after that night someone was DD duty. Drunken Dorian duty. He apparently leads me astray as quoted by Cullen after a very long talk about my actions in the War Room. It was almost like my father was here in Skyhold.

We slowly made our way up the steps when I turned and looked at Bull. "Why don't you two head to your room Bull? I'm sure I can make it to my room." The look on Bull's face meant I wasn't even sober enough to speak. I shook my head and continued to my quarters.

Once at the door beside the throne, I looked back to the empty Throne Room. I smiled. No sign of Dorian or Bull. Good on them for finding love in a place like this. At least someone is getting laid tonight. I sighed at my sexual frustration. I'm too scary to normal, tis what Sera tells me. Everyone just forgets that I'm a person and not an icon, Varric continues to remind me that every time we spend time together. Makes me a little lonely to think everyone is too scared to talk to me.

I leaned against the door to my quarters and pulled out my father's letter. It seemed like it had something within it. Maybe it's best to open it when I'm in my quarters and have the rest of the night to sleep of whatever drink Bull was pouring into my cup tonight.

Just as I was about to reach for the door handle, I heard a noise come from the fireplace. The ambers were smothered hours ago. There was no one in here but myself. Or so I told myself. I placed my letter back into my pocket and wandered down the hall. Flame in hand. I stood at the table in front of the fireplace and looked around. There was not there and nothing had been moved from its place.

As I looked around a gleam of silver light reflecting from my mage fire caught my eye. There stood Cullen in the doorway to Solas's room still in armor. I arched my eye brow at him. "I'm surprised you're up, Commander. I guess you heard Dorian and I in the yard." I tried to make myself look presentable while holding myself up with the table. At least I was no longer slurring my words. "I was just off to bed. Bull's on DD duty. So don't worry. I wasn't being led astray again." It sounded a lot more sarcastic than it was meant to.

Cullen stood there. He didn't say anything. He still looks like he hasn't slept in a fortnight. I watched him for a few more moments. Unsure if there was something wrong.

"Cullen, are you alright? You don't look well." I walked over to the young Templar and noticed that he had fallen asleep standing up. Was he waiting for the game to finish up? He was probably waiting to make sure that Dorian and I were behaving and not falling asleep on the steps. It did happen a lot. I have to admit.

I watched him for a few more moments, studying his features. He looked so calm standing there. I moved my mage fire up just to get a better look at his face. Such a handsome man, I can't even describe how handsome. Every feature I looked over turned me on. I just wanted to kiss every part of this man. Make him relax. I felt so bad for him consistently up in that office of his. Never leaving to do anything fun. I have to say. My favorite part of him is his lips. They're just so perfect. Even with the scar. I want to kiss him to make any pain that he has go away. There was something dark there, a dark past that he won't share to anyone.

I backed off a little. I can't be like Dorian and be in everyone's space. Especially when you're going to wake them, kind of creepy waking someone while you're right in their space.

I smiled. "Oh Cullen, I don't believe the Throne Room is a good place to be sleeping."

Cullen slowly opened his eyes and looked at me. He stared at me for a long moment and then shook away the sleep. "Inquisitor, I, uh,"

I raised my hand in protest. "Don't need to explain yourself Cullen. Someone needs to keep order. But I don't think you need to do it all of the time. Get some rest. Maybe get laid."

Both Cullen and I redden. Maybe I need to stop drinking or stop talking to Cullen while I'm drunk. "Well I'm going to bed." I turned quickly on my heels and headed straight to my quarters. "Have a good night Commander." I didn't even give him any chance to respond. I moved too quickly. If he did respond, it was probably a shy little good night.

I opened and closed the door to my quarters. I leaned on the closed door. "Great job Rowen. Tell your commander that he needs to get laid. What else would a man do with his time?" I sighed and started to walk up the stairs to my room. Why do I have to have the room at the top of the tower? I was more than content with the balcony that Vivienne enjoys. She'd be much more content with my room.

I finally made it up to the top of the tower. One wave of my hand and all of the torches lit the room. I looked around at the beauty of it. I glanced at my bad. Oh it looked so welcoming. I sighed and pulled the letter from my pocket and opened it. I walked over to my bed and sat down. On the paper was my father's hand writing. He made it personnel. He never writes his own letters. It must be important. So I began to read;

_My dearest Rowen,_

_It's been some time since your mother and I have seen you. We hope you're doing well. We have heard from your cousin that you are working hard to fix the world's problems. She said something about you settling a family dispute. This Breach is concerning and I hope that the Marker guides and protects you well. _

_I apologize for being so forward and sending letters to your advisors. I knew it was the only way that you would read this letter. I feared you'd see the family crest and toss away the letter. Or so your mother has told me. Though your brothers use the crest so I doubt you'd toss the letter._

_Now that the Mages and the Templars are no longer fighting and there is no sign of the circles being rebuilt any time soon. I thought we should jump on the chance to throw the yearly gathering. Have everyone come and visit. Spend some time together, drink, and tell some stories before you go off to battle this Corypheus creature. Maker knows it'll be a battle of the ages, though you probably have some time before you have to face him one on one. Please let that it be so._

_Your mother wishes me to put this into the letter as well. "I wish for you to come home and stop this foolishness of being this "Inquisitor". You're a Lady of the house Trevelyan and as such you must live up to your duties. I have young man from the House Malice awaiting your arrival. He wishes to meet you." Those are your mother's words. Not mine._

_Though it is always up to you my sweet little lion, you know I only want to see you happy. I know for a fact you are. You always enjoyed helping others. Even when you placed into the circle you continued to help people as best as you could._

_Every time your mother and I hear stories of what you have achieved, we cringe at the thought of you in danger even though we know you're doing what you believe is right._

_Please Rowen, come to the party. I know you hate them, but you would make your old man happy if you showed. I just wanted to tell you that your mother made me send the other letters to your advisors. Only because she wants to set you up with someone and pretty much tell them that they have no right to keep you there. You have more important duties than saving the world. I honestly believe that my little girl can wait as long as she wants before she is wed._

_With love, your old man_

_P.s. I think you'll be wanting your locket back. I guess you had good reason to leave it with me before you went to the Conclave. Your hunches were always scarcely accurate. _

I sat on my bed looking at each word on the paper. My father is a wonderful man. Being his only daughter, I guess I could go to the party. Telling my mother off would be fun as well. Damn her for thinking that I need a man… Okay I need a man, but not for the reason she wants one for me.

I read the letter a couple more times. Just reading it made me miss home. I pulled my locket out of the envelope. The Trevelyan crest on one side and the Templar crest on the other. My family is mostly made up of Templars and Mages. Maybe it's the reason behind being so neutral when it comes to the Mage-Templar war. My father is a mage and my mother a Templar. Well ex-templar. My older twin brothers, Vincent and Shepherd both are ex-templars as well. Shepherd married Alice who also is an ex-templar. The only one out of my brothers that isn't either a mage or a templar is my eldest brother, Thatcher.

People think that the Trevelyans are close to the Chantry. Well there's a reason behind that. My family has held land for Marker knows how long. There were always problems keeping the land. It was always threatened by the Chantry. They believe that the blood line is "tainted" with magic. To keep the secret, too keep the land and too keep the Chantry off of the Trevelyan family, my family started to hire Templars to be guards and protect the family from any problems that come from magic. After many years, some of the templars found themselves becoming a part of the family and the Templar guards weren't needed.

Could that be the reasoning behind my attraction to Cullen? I'm not attracted to him. He's just a very good friend. Yup that's it. Continue to be in denial, Rowen completely healthy. Not like I have time for romance like Bull and Dorian. I sighed.

I sat up, placed the letter on my desk. Got ready for bed and settled in for the night. Tomorrow is going to be another full day.


	3. Chapter 3

By midmorning I was up and wandering the halls of Skyhold. I slept well. The alcohol kicked in and gave me wonderful dreams in the fade. Many from my childhood, riding and training my beautiful black stallion. I missed riding for fun. No one here really seems the horseback riding type.

I continued walking up to where I usually find Dorian reading; though this time I did not find him reading. I found him with a book open, yes. But his eyes were closed and his heavy head was leaning on his hand barely kept up by his arm on the arm rest.

I grinned. This is my favorite part of going out drinking with Dorian, waking him up the next morning. He clearly had a long night with myself and Bull. Most people would let him sleep. But I'm not like most people. Not in the slightest. I could either scare the living Marker out of him or snuggle up to him and wake him gently. Both are always good for a laugh. If Bull didn't tell me that he was with Dorian, I would have found out sooner or later. Dorian talks in his sleep. I learned some interesting things perched on the arm rest in the early mornings.

I tip-toed my way over to him. I slowly sat down on the arm rest, trying not to wake him. Trying is the main thing. I have no grace. I'm extremely clumsy. I'd fall over my own shadow if it were possible. I rolled my hip to balance myself. Within seconds I was in Dorian's lap looking up at him.

Dorian's arm slipped off of its rest and he snorted awake. Very ungraceful like of him, though he still looked good doing it. Damn him.

Dorian looked down at me with sleep filled eyes. He smiled. "Well, well. Look at what has fallen into my lap. A beautiful, red headed woman. Funny thing is I'm not like most men. I don't want to have beautiful women falling into my lap in the morning." Dorian didn't move and made no attempt to move me. He closed his book. "Good morning Rowen. Did you sleep well? I certainly did." Boyish grin came across Dorian's face that told me everything I needed to know.

I smiled up at Dorian and made myself more comfortable. "I did sleep well. I read my father's letter last night. It was very interesting. Though the high light of my night was with Cullen."

Dorian looked at me with shock. "You didn't! You finally made your move on him. Thank the Maker! I knew you had a thing for strapping young Templars."

I flushed and looked away from him for a moment. "Uh, Dorian nothing like that happened. Nor will it ever. Just after Bull took you to his room, I heard a noise at the fireplace. I found Cullen leading on the doorway to Solas's room. Standing and asleep." I sighed and looked at Dorian. "I told him that he needed something to distress. I pretty much told him that he needed to get laid."

Dorian laughed, longer than he needed to in fact. "That's almost better! Oh Rowen. If I didn't know you better, I would have thought that you grew up in the circle and had never been with a man. That's adorable. So what happened? Did he confess his undying love to you? Did you two ride off into the sunrise?"

I stared at Dorian. I'm glad he's getting enjoyment out of my pain. "I'm glad you're enjoying the lows of my life. But of course he confessed his love to me and we rode out on the most beautiful white horse you would have ever seen." I said sarcastically, while rolling my eyes.

"Oh darling, don't be sore. I'm only teasing. You turned tail and ran. That's the only thing I can see you doing. You two are so awkward. It's adorable. I'm sorry for teasing you. What did the letter say?" Dorian sat me up so I was sitting straight up. This was easier to keep eye contact. Dorian always kept eye contact with me when I needed to tell him something that was important to me. The man had few friends, but he knew how to keep the few friends he had. Listening and caring was one of the ways.

"It was from my father. He pretty much asked me to come back home for a party even though he knows I don't like them. There's a problem though. My mother had taken it upon herself to arrange a blind date. Well blind date isn't really what she did. She pretty much told me that I'm to wed some weirdo Lord. Or soon to be Lord or want to be Lord. Gotta love being of noble birth." I sighed. "I wanted to go back to see my family, but I don't want to go back because of that." Dorian knew exactly how I felt. Being forced to marry someone that you don't like because your family believes its right happens all across Thedas.

Dorian smiled. "It's simple, Rowen. Go back. See your family and dump the loser. Come back ravish Cullen. It's prefect."

"What is it with you? Why do you keep forcing the idea of Cullen and I? I don't have time for a lover. I need to defeat Corypheus. It is different here Dorian, Mages don't get married. We don't have families." I looked down at my hands. River was lucky enough to find my brother. To be in a family that was welcoming enough to bring another mage into the family as well as an elf.

Dorian looked at me softly. "I'm sorry darling." He sighed. "I'll stop the teasing. I honestly thought you had feelings for him. The way you look at him and the way you talk to one another. You throw subtle flirty hints. Though he's so naïve that he probably doesn't even notice them… That's probably not making you feel better. Hungry? Let's go get something to eat." Dorian wrapped his arms around me. He lifted me with ease out of his lap as he stood and placed me on my feet.

"Breakfast sounds wonderful." I looked at Dorian. He looked so upset. I smiled. "Don't worry Dorian. It's just the way it's always been and that's the way it'll always be." I took his hand and we walked down to the kitchens together.

Hours flew by. Usually happens when Dorian and I spend time together. Though our time together really wasn't together. We sit across from each other with books in hand. We could be mistaken for an elderly couple some days. I was enjoying my novel when a young Templar walked over to me. I slowly looked up. He must have been a new recruit. Not many of the seasoned Templars would step foot into Solas's room. They weren't comfortable with an open apostate.

I smiled at him. "Good afternoon. What can I do for you?"

Dorian glanced up from his book. Gave the young Templar a quick once over and then went back to his book. Whatever this boy needed to tell me, it wasn't any of his business. He'll just block whatever is said out. Dorian knew I'd discuss it later with him anyways.

The Templar shifted uneasily. "Commander Cullen wishes to speak to you, Lady Inquisitor."

I looked from the Templar to Dorian and then back. Dorian was looking as shocked as I was. Okay he doesn't always block things out. Did Cullen want to discuss what I said last night? Scold me like he's done before. I shifted in my seat. "I'll be there when I can."

"He insisted that you come right away, massacre." The boy continued to look uncomfortable.

I nodded. Closed my book and stood. I looked at Dorian. "I'll see you later. After my meetings?"

Dorian glanced up at me. "Of course my dear, maybe get the group together for dinner."

I laughed. "Sounds like a plan. But let's behave for once. Prove to Cullen that we don't lead each other astray."

Dorian joined in with my laughter. "I honestly think you're the one who leads me astray."

"Oh yes. Blame me. It's not my boyfriend pouring the drinks." I placed my book down on my chair and then walked over to the young Templar.

Dorian rolled his eyes. "Oh yes. Blame Bull for everything… Wait yes! Blame Bull. He's become our scapegoat." Dorian continued to laugh as the young Templar and I walked to Cullen's office.

I looked at the young man. He kept his hand on his sword. Again with the sword? No one is going to become an abomination. I sighed. "So did our Commander say anything about why he wants to speak to me?"

The Templar kept walking and didn't speak to me. Oh wow, I feel like I'm the circle again. Great…

We walked in silence until we made it to Cullen's office. The young Templar opened the door and stepped in front of me. "Commander Cullen, Lady Inquisitor is here as requested."

Cullen looked up from his desk and waved for me to enter. The Templar moved out of my way. Allowing myself to clearly see Cullen and walk in. This is highly unusual. Cullen never sends anyone to summon me and I usually just walk in when I come to visit. No knocking. No doorman. So weird.

"Thank you." I said to the young man. I walked past him and into the room. The door closed behind me.

I looked at Cullen. He had both hand on his desk and was leaning forward reading the papers in front of him. He didn't have his sword on his belt. It was leaning on his desk. I quietly stood at the doorway.

Cullen sighed and then looked up at me. He rubbed the back of his neck. "About last night."

I waved at him to stop. "Don't worry about Cullen. I was drunk. You know I say stupid things when I'm drunk. You don't need to apologize to me. I need to apologize to you. So, I'm sorry about what I said last night and I promise to stop drinking whatever Iron Bull pours into my drink." I smiled sweetly. I was dreading seeing him today. I didn't want to have this conversation. "Is that everything Commander?" I didn't even give him a chance to talk. I really need to stop doing that. I've been doing that a lot lately.

Cullen stood up. "Rowen, I still need to apologize. You were right about my intentions. I was waiting to make sure that you made it to your room, uh, I mean you and Dorian. You two have been drinking a lot lately and I, uh…" He rubbed the back of his neck. He's so cute when he does it, though I know he does it because he is unsure of himself. I can't see why a strong man like himself with so much confidence in commanding an army be so unsure of himself around me.

I watched Cullen pace behind his desk. Is he concerned about me? I know I've been drinking and staying up a lot lately, but it's not causing anyone harm. Maybe annoyance? Is he annoyed with me because I'm out having fun and letting off steam and he's stuck in here? Is he regretting making my Inquisitor? "What's really wrong Cullen? You've been acting strange lately. I can't see you having a problem with Dorian. Even if he is Tevinter, he doesn't use blood magic and neither do I. You know this. Do you have a problem with me?"

Cullen stopped pacing and stared at me. "Of course I don't!" Taken back from his outburst, Cullen cleared his throat. "Of course I don't Rowen. Far from that." Cullen looked down. "I'm sorry I've been acting strange. Did you, uh, read the letter from your father?"

I nodded. "I did. It wasn't as of a big deal as everyone was making out to be yesterday."

"Oh…" Cullen answered quietly. That simple word made my stomach ache. I looked a Cullen. He walked back to his desk. Surprisingly he was good at hiding emotions. "We will speak in the War Room. I have other things to do at the moment. Thank you for coming."

I nodded and then walked out. I stood outside the closed door. That was the weirdest conversation I've ever had with Cullen. He never summons me and he NEVER casts me aside. Why is this bothering me so much? We're friends and we can be nothing more as much as I want to be. Do I want there to be something more?

I stood outside Cullen's door for a while, thinking. I came to realize that I do want something more. I want that strong and handsome man to be mine. I don't care that he's a Templar and I'm a mage. I don't care that he commands my army. I don't care that my mother has decided that she needed to play match maker. I need him to be mine.

I turned around and walked about into Cullen's office. He was still alone. Great just the way I wanted it.

Cullen looked up at from his desk. "Was there something you needed Rowen? I'm awfully busy right now."

"I need to talk to you Cullen. Alone?" I walked to him.

Cullen looked at me confused. "Alone?" He looked around the empty room. "We are alone."

I walked over to the door that lead to the battlements. I glanced back at him.

"I mean, of course." Cullen walked over to his desk, grabbed his sword and placed back on his belt. Of course he would do that. He then walked over to me and opened the door.

We walked side by side along the overlook in awkward silence. I had to do something. Cullen was upset about something and I wanted to confess my attraction to him. This is going to end terribly…

Cullen seemed more awkward as usual. He rubbed the back of his neck as we walked. "It's uh, a nice day."

I stopped and started at him. "What?"

Cullen continued to rub the back of his neck and then slowly lowered his arm "It's… There was something you wished to discuss?"

My heart began to race. This is the moment. I have to tell him how I feel. It might make things more awkward for a while if he doesn't share my feelings. But I can't go on like this. Why does Dorian have to be right all of the time? Damn him. I'm never going to live this down once he finds out.

I took a deep breath as I looked at him. "Cullen, I care for you, and…" I released my breath into a short sigh.

"What's wrong?" He watched me with his golden brown eyes. Concern came across his face. Even after our previous awkward discussion.

I looked up at him. It's now or never Rowen. "You left the Templars, but do you trust mages?" I looked down at his sword and then back at him. He followed my gaze and looked back at me. "Could you think of me as anything more?"

"I could. I mean, I-I-I do… think of you. And what I might say in this sort of situation." Cullen brought his hand up to his head like this was causing him a headache. He started to walk again and stopped.

I followed. "What's stopping you?" My heart is racing. I can't breathe. I've never felt like this. I've spoken to men about these kinds of things before, but this feeling is different.

"You're the Inquisitor. We're at war. And you… I didn't think it was possible." Cullen slowly moved closer to me, never taking his eyes off of me. He has me pinned against the wall. Even if I tried to run now, I couldn't and I really don't want too.

"And yet I'm still here." I replied. That was the only thing my brain could think of for a reply. I'm not usual witty self. My mind is swimming. I wish I could breathe right now. He's being so calm and collected. Confident would be the word to describe him perfectly at this moment in time. Clearly not the man Leliana and Josephine were teasing yesterday. I'm extremely attracted to him right now.

"So you are… It seems too much to ask." Cullen slowly moved his right hand down to my waist. Then his left hand followed suit. I was clearly not going anywhere now. He was now inches from my face. His lips right there for me to claim as my own. "But I want too-" He moves in to kiss me. The world around me is disappearing. It's only us. There's no war. No fighting. Just us.

"Commander!" I'm snapped back to reality. Both of us open our eyes and look at each other. I try to catch my breath. Cullen continues to hold me. I turn my head away. Trying not to make this more awkward than it is. Our moment was interrupted. Probably gone forever. Damn it. Why do we have to be two of the most important people in Skyhold?

"Sir, you wanted a copy of Sister Leliana's report." One of our scouts, I think his name is Walter walked over. Face down, reading the report as he walked. Thank the Maker. This might be salvaged.

Cullen turned to face the intruder. Poor man doesn't know what he's walking into. "What?" Cullen demanded. He tried so hard not to sound like he was annoyed with the whole situation.

"Sister Leliana's report. You wanted it delivered "without delay."" He replied. Honestly he was doing what he was told. Cullen and Leliana trained our men well. They don't question anything that asked upon then and they get it done fast and efficiently.

I watched the two exchange glances for a moment. Cullen was probably thinking about what to do next. I completely understood that he needed to take this report. War doesn't stop just because we want it too. I looked away. No reason why I need to listen and stare at them.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the poor scout look at me and then back to Cullen. "Or… To your office… Right…" And with that he was gone.

I looked up, not looking at Cullen. "If you need to-" In one swift movement, Cullen took me by surprise. He held the side of my head and kissed me passionately. It was the best kiss I have ever had. His lips were so soft.

We broke apart and looked at one another. I couldn't remove the grin from my face. I probably looked like an idiot. Cullen looked at me with soft and concerned eyes. "I'm sorry… that was… um… really nice…" Within moments, the confident Cullen disappeared and my sweet shy Templar reappeared.

I smiled at him. "That is what I wanted." Yes! And the wit is back.

"Oh." A sly grin moved across Cullen's face. "Good." He leaned in and kissed me again. A softer kiss than from before, but with the same amount of passion.

We broke apart after a few moments. Cullen held me close. He sighed. "We should get back to our duties, but I really don't want too."

I smiled. "First I lead Dorian astray and now you. I'm going to need to stop going that."

Cullen laughed. "You temptress, you." He rested his forehead against mine. "How are we going to do this? We barely find time for ourselves half the time."

"Don't over think this for once. Over thinking causes problems. We'll find away. I'll come see you more often. We can share dinner while you read papers." I rubbed my nose against his. "Don't over think."

Cullen leaned back and looked at me. "Alright Rowen. I won't over think this." He smiled. "Dinner tonight after the meeting."

"Wouldn't miss it." I smiled.

Cullen kissed me one last time before he left to go back to his office. Leaving a women love struck might not be the best plan usually. Leaving me love struck ends in disaster. I almost fell face first down the stone stairs that ended at the tavern. I think I might stay away from there for a while. I'm just going to go back to my chair and read my book. Act like nothing happened. Dorian won't even notice that I returned. Excellent plan Rowen.

I made my way back to my chair, trying so hard to keep composure. I'm actually flustered by what just happened. I feel like I'm sixteen again being chased by the young noble boys at my Great-Aunt's parties. Who would have thought that I would find someone here of all places? Once I was placed into the circle I didn't really think about trying to find anyone anymore. Family and love were no longer in my reach, but the circles have fallen and the Templar order is pretty much destroyed. I might actually be able to have a life after all of this… if I survive the final battle that is. Stay positive, Rowen.

I made it to Dorian's library, grabbed my book and made myself comfortable in my chair. If someone walked by and saw me lying in a ball in my chair they would probably think I was either crazy, which most think I am or that I was drunk. I think pretty much everyone thinks both together. I opened my book and let out a huge content sigh.

Dorian looked up from his book, studied me for a few long moments. I could feel his eyes on me. Watching. Waiting. I just had to pretend a little longer. I'm never going to live any of this down. Shit! I just realized we were going to do dinner with everyone tonight and I said I was going to do dinner with Cullen. What am I going to do? I have to pretend I'm sick… But then Cullen will worry and I won't get to spend dinner with him…

I looked over at Dorian, who was still studying me. Stop watching me dammit. I know full well you know something is up. Just say something Rowen. He'll keep staring at you until you do. I sighed again. "Sorry Dorian. Did I disturb you?" I smiled sweetly. Come on Dorian. Fall for it. Just believe me for once. Nothing happened between Cullen and I.

"Of course not my dear." He smiled. "How did the summoning go?"

I looked at him confused. "The summoning?"

Dorian gave me a look. "Cullen summoned you to his office. Something he never does. You were gone for quite some time too. I do notice when you're gone. You have quite the aura about it and it is missed when you're not here."

I smiled again. He is the sweetest man I have ever met and I can call him my best friend. "Awe Dorian. Did you miss me? That's so sweet."

Dorian smiled. "Of course I missed you Rowen. I was waiting for you to get back so I could get all of the juicy gossip."

Of course that's why he missed me. I sighed. "It went fine. Nothing to report. He just wanted to apologize about last night. He was making sure that we made to our rooms. That's all." I brought my book up to the front of my face and pretend to read it, trying to hide my beet red face. Just the thought of Cullen waiting for me and wanting to make sure I was okay made my flush.

Dorian continued to watch me. "That's all? That's disappointing Rowen. For the amount of time you were gone. I thought you two were ravishing each other."

I chocked. "I'm sorry what?" I brought my book down and looked at Dorian. That was a bad idea. My face was probably redder than before. Shit I've blown my cover. Should have just gone up to my quarters.

"You're blushing! Something did happen" Dorian put his book down and leaned forward. "Tell me everything."

I tried to look for an escape. There was no way I'm going to brush this off. Dorian is just too aggressive for that. "Nothing happened, Dorian. We just talked." I sat up. That's not going to work. But at least I tried.

Dorian shook his head. His eyes gleamed with wonder and grin made his moustache touch his eyes. "Rowen, don't lie to me. I know something happened." He studied me again. "I knew there was something up with you two after the day we all played chess. The pair of you played for hours." He went quiet. "Unless you'd rather tell other people what happened first" The gleam and the grin erased from his face.

Shit, he knows how to make me talk. I don't like Dorian being sad. It makes me sad. I sighed. "It's not like that Dorian." I sat up. "We talked about last night. He brushed me off. I didn't like it. I realized that I do like him." I put my hand up before he could say anything. "Yes you were right. I do have feelings for him. So I needed to tell him and it couldn't wait. The feeling of being brushed off like that pained me. So made him talk to me as we walked along the battlements. The talk ended up us sharing a kiss." I smiled. "It was amazing."

Dorian's cheshire cat like grin came back and his eyes began to sparkle. "So you two are a thing now. I love it. I'm so happy for you Rowen. You deserve happiness. You can't go running around kill shit and have no reason to do it. You two have each other to protect now."

"Thanks Dorian. I'm going to be skipping out on dinner tonight, if that's okay?" I placed my book back on the shelf. No use reading that any more. If Varric found out that I was reading _Hard in Hightown_, I would never live that down either. I stood up.

"By all means my dear. Spend some time with him. I doubt you'd bring him with you to your family's party." Dorian leaned over to the other side of his chair. Rested his arm with book in hand and continued to read.

I had completely forgotten about the party and that Lord. I'm going to have to talk to Cullen about this. Does he know about what my mother has planned? That must be why he was so upset by the letter. Or did the letter my mother sent to them be different from mine. I need to call a meeting.

"Thanks Dorian. I'll see you later." I smiled at him.

"Walk away slowly." Dorian looked up from his book. "I love watching you walk away." He grinned.

I smiled and did exactly what he wanted. "Flatter."

I walked around Skyhold for a while until I made to my usual hangout and spot to think. The stable rooftop. It's quiet there and I can watch the clouds without people leaning over me. Asking why I'm lying in the grass. I guess the Inquisitor shouldn't be lying on the ground. I could almost hate my job for the stupidest reasons.

I lied myself down and looked up. The sky was back to normal. No green hole. At least I did something right. I don't know what to do. It's still too early to call the meeting. It's not even noon.

What should I do? Should I confront Cullen about my own stupidity by overlooking something so crucial? I mean I wasn't planning on marrying the man my mother "found" for me. But now I have someone that my actions affect. Gah! Why now?! Why fall for someone now, Rowen?

I continued to look up. I placed my hand on my forehead. I do have a few months before the party. Father always holds the party on the night of the first bloom. There's plenty of time. I'll send a letter to my father stating that I would love to come home as long as my friends were able to join. It would give everyone a much needed holiday and give me time to think. Also to see if what I have with Cullen will last. By then I can tell my family I'm with someone and won't need my mother finding me men. It would also be less awkward for Cullen and I when I say it.

I sat up in a flash. It's a perfect plan. Nothing can go wrong. Tell Cullen what my mother has planned. Write the letter. Continue with Inquisition business until the party. So perfect.

I lied back down. Grinning from ear to ear. Some days I'm too smart for my own good. I can't wait to get my plan into action. I looked up at the sky. There's no clouds in the sky today to watch. I could feel my eye lids getting heavy. I didn't fight them. There's nothing to look at. I could just close my eyes and listen to the noises of Skyhold. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to slowly drift into a blissful sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't know how long I slept for. I was in bliss and I was warm under the sun. In the fade you're away from everything. You can change it to whatever you want. Just have to watch out for demons and sometimes Solas wanders in. His random appearing into dreams can get pretty annoying and embarrassing. Let's just say he knows better than to enter my dreams to come speak with me.

I felt a chill that slowly woke me. The sun must have went under the clouds. I shivered. I slowly opened my eyes to see someone hovering over me. Blocking the sunlight. My eyes full of sleep. I yawned and shook off the sleep.

There was Cullen, looking all commander like and had annoyance across his face. What did I do now? I'm probably late for the meeting. I yawned again and slowly sat up. My foot slipped on a loose shingle and I began to slide down the roof. Of course something like that would happen. I rolled onto my stomach and grabbed the ledge of the roof. I held for a moment and then slowly braced myself for a fall when I let go.

I landed on my feet with a loud thud. Blackwall looked for from his craving. "Afternoon Rowen."

Yup, no. I still can't look at him the same after the other night. "Hey Blackwall" I replied. I looked up to see Cullen looking over the ledge. His face full of concern. Concern for me. Yup, I think I found the best man ever. "Afternoon Cullen. Don't worry this happens all of the time."

"She's gotten pretty good at landing on her feet." Blackwall walked and stood beside me. He looked up at Cullen. "Though she does it less when people don't wake her." He chuckled. "Need help down?"

Cullen breathed a sigh of relief. "You're late for the meeting, Rowen."

"I figured as much. Reason why I'm down here and you're up there." I grinned. I doubt that our kiss made it around to everyone yet. So my taunt just made this whole situation all the better. I could tease him to chase me around Skyhold and he couldn't do anything about it without blowing our cover. "I'll meet you there." I turned and started walking slowly to the War Room. Rolling my hips as I walked. Oh this is going to be fun.

I heard a thud behind me. Did he just jump down from the roof? I turned to see Cullen walking over to me. Shit this isn't going to end well. I might as well walk with him now. There goes all of my fun.

I waited for Cullen to catch up to me. Waved bye back to Blackwall and we walked together. I kept my voice down as I spoke to Cullen. "That's kind of not fair. You ruined my fun."

"Kind of not fair to tease me like that in front of everyone where I can do nothing." Cullen glanced down at me and smiled. He did enjoy it. That's good.

"Well that was the point. I don't get to do much teasing anymore. I'm glad I have someone that appreciates it." I looked up him. I knew he wanted to kiss me, but we had to keep composure. No one really needs to know that the Inquisitor and the Commander are together. They will find out at some point, but today wasn't the day to show off our attraction to one another.

Cullen smiled. "I did. Though that still doesn't change the fact you're late to the meeting."

"Are you going to punish me?" I grinned as I watched Cullen get uncomfortable with his thoughts.

"I, uh" He began to blush and rub the back of his neck. "Not the time nor the place Rowen."

"That phase can be taken one of two ways. I didn't hint to either way. It's not my fault that you thoughts went to something dirty." I continued walking as Cullen stopped to think for a moment.

Cullen slowly jogged to catch up with me. "You are quite the temptress, Rowen."

"I am nothing of the sort." Cullen held open the door to the War Room and I walked him. "Afternoon ladies. Sorry I'm late. I fell asleep."

"Tis alright Rowen. I heard you had a long night with your companions." Leliana smiled as she looked up at me.

Josephine was writing something down on her portable desk. "You're really not that late anyways Rowen. Cullen was getting antsy so we sent him to find you."

"I was not getting antsy in any way." Cullen walked around the table and stood across from me.

"Tell yourself whatever you like, Commander. You were getting antsy waiting for our beautiful leader." Leliana glanced over and grinned at Cullen. She already knew. Well of course she would, Rowen. She bloody well knows everything.

I chuckled. "Let's get down to business. Any updates or shall we continue from where we left of last night? Though Leliana has already started teasing Cullen."

"We have gotten our way into the Winter Palace. We have been invited by the Grand Duke Gaspard de Chalons." Josephine announced. She looked so excited about this piece of information.

"Excellent. When is the Ball?" I looked at Josephine.

"It will be held in the next month. I suggest we start preparations." Josephine smiled sweetly. She was in her glory. This is way we have her around, to deal with the nobles and the parties. I doubt Leliana, Cullen and I would be able to understand what the nobles say in their letters. You'd have to know them on a personal level to understand which each pen stroke meant. Leliana might be a little better off than Cullen and I, but she wouldn't be as good as Josephine.

"Perfect." I looked to Leliana. "Anything to report?"

Leliana shook her head. "Nothing new to report. Corypheus has made no moves."

"Excellent." I looked down at the war table. Was there anything seriously pressing that needed to be discussed before I brought up my family's request? Nothing screamed to me. I sighed and looked back up at everyone. "I read my father's letter last night. I wish to hear what he written to the three of you before I decide anything."

Cullen shifted nervously. "We spoke about our letters prior to your arrival, Inquisitor." Formal as usual. He's pretty good at hiding us. "Our letters are all the same. They were from your mother stating that you need to be home for the family's yearly gathering or ball or party or whatever it is." Cullen rubbed the back of his neck. He looked at me. Uncertainty. This poor man was afraid of losing me. "Your mother was adamant of you being returned to your family and do what is required of you."

I shook my head. "She can be as adamant as she wants. She knows better than to tell me what to do." I gave Cullen a reassuring smile. "I will go home and I will tell her that I have other duties than what she wishes of me. I am an adult after all." I laughed. "Though that's probably not saying much for a noble child."

"You will go against your mother's wishes? Scandalous. I love it. I wish I would be there when it happens." Josephine grinned.

"Oh don't worry. Everyone will be there. I shall write a letter to my father stating that I will come to the party." I looked at Cullen. "My family doesn't do balls thankfully." I smiled. "I will also tell my father that if my mother believes she can control my life. She has another thing coming." I picked up the marker. "Father won't throw the party for another few months. Beginning of the first bloom is usually when it is." I looked at Josephine. "Please make the necessary arrangements."

Josephine nodded. "Is that all?" She looked at everyone.

"I believe it is." Cullen smirked. He knew what came next and I couldn't wait for it. Dinner alone together in his office. It'll be fun.

"Well that was easy. Have a wonderful day everyone." Off I went. I didn't wait for Cullen. It wouldn't help our cause if I did, as much as I wanted too.

I made my way down to the kitchens and made a simple dinner for Cullen and I. The kitchen staff always give me weird looks. They don't understand why I like making my own food. I'm just used to it and I enjoy cooking. It can be relaxing sometimes.

An hour or so later I walked up to Cullen's office door. I could hear some annoyed yelling that sounded like Cullen. Something was up. I slowly peeked my head in. Something I normally don't do. I saw Cullen standing behind his desk staring at a young Templar. I stood at the partly opened door and listened.

"Your actions towards the young mage is unacceptable, Eric. The mages have as much as a right to be here as you do. I do not want to hear that you're causing problems with them." I could see the fury across Cullen's face. Is it because of me that he's more sympathetic to mages or is it because a large portion of our army is made of mages or is it both?

"But sir." Eric pleaded. "The mages cannot be trusted."

I opened the door more and slide myself in. Cullen glanced over at me and then to the young Templar. "We are at war Eric. Everyone here is to work together. Do you have a problem with our Inquisitor? She is in fact a mage after all."

"No of course not! I just…" Eric looked down.

"He's infatuated with the young mage that he continues to bother. A school yard crush. Sorry for interrupting. If I didn't bring the Commander his dinner, he would waste away." I smiled. I walked over and handed Cullen his dinner. I looked at Eric. "Eric, right? Angel used to be your charge at the Ostwick circle, correct? Do you mind if I say something? If it isn't too bold to do so." Cullen took his dinner from me and smiled.

The young Templar shocked that I knew his name and remembered him from so long ago. Blushing, he nodded in agreement. "It is not too bold. Please, tell me what you have to say massacre."

I smiled and perched myself up on Cullen's desk. I placed my plate down. "We're all here to work together. Mages and Templars. Qunari and Tevinter. Dwarves and Elves and I guess humans." I chuckled at my own wit. "It doesn't matter who you are and what you've done. You're here because you want to help defeat Corypheus. So does Angel. Same with the other mages here. We all need to work together to complete our goal." I smiled sweetly and spoke softly. "You're scared. We all are. Everyone handles fear differently. You express your fear by harassing the mage you have feelings for. You always have had feelings for her. Yes I remember the pair of you. Always fighting. Always yelling." I placed my hand on the young man's shoulders. "Maybe instead of listening to what the Chantry has told you. Listen to your heart and maybe your fear of mages with dissolve."

Eric looked at me. The fear that had consumed the boy visibly disappeared. "I believe I need to go speak to Angel."

I nodded. "It's been a long time coming. I think you should apologize first and then go from there. If I remember Angel well enough, she was pretty fiery at times. Good luck."

"You're dismissed Eric." Cullen added sternly, yet softly.

With that Eric was gone. I looked back at Cullen. "Sorry I took away your fun."

Cullen smiled. "You didn't. You handled that a lot better than I was. How did you know?"

"It's easy to tell when a Templar and a Mage have feelings for one another. Those two were so obvious back in the circle. I'm surprised they weren't separated from one another. Those their outbursts were the weekly entertainment at times." I smiled.

"It's easy to tell when Templars and Mages have feelings for one another. Really? So you knew about my feelings towards you?" Cullen grinned and made his way around the desk.

"Well no… Clearly I'm oblivious to my own suitors. Okay, so when you kissed me on the battlements: How long had you wanted to do that?" I grinned.

Cullen laughed and leaned on the desk beside me. "Long than I should admit."

I smiled. "Adorable. Didn't you notice when some Templars and Mages had attraction to one another?"

Cullen sighed. "I did. But when I was in Kirkwall, it was completely forbidden. If anyone spoke to one another they would be kicked out of the Templars or become Tranquil…" Cullen didn't like talking about his past and it's something I'm never going to push. I'm curious to know though…

"I guess Kirkwall wasn't really fun for anyone." I shook my head. "Let's not talk about that." I nudged him. "You should eat." I motioned to the plate of food behind him. "We can't have you passing out." I grinned. "Take that any way you want." I took a bite of my food.

Cullen chuckled. "You're much more relaxed around me now." He stood up and walked around the desk and picked up his food.

"I was always relaxed around you. I'm not sure that you've noticed but I have cases where I lose my mind and anything that has something to with being a normal human being goes right out the window. How I wasn't put into the circle sooner blows my mind." I took another bite of my food and swallowed. "So any of the out bursts that you've seen is common and doesn't only happen around you. I'm a clumsy mage. Physically and verbally."

Cullen chuckled as he walked back around to my side of the desk. He leaned against the desk as he did before. "You're not that clumsy. Yes you slipped off the roof today, but you saved yourself and landed nicely on your feet."

"You were there. I had to show some class." I grinned. "Can't make a fool of myself in front of the Commander of my army. How would that look?"

Cullen shook his head and had a bite of his dinner. "This is really good the cook has stepped up her game."

I snickered at him as he spoke with a mouth full of food. "Actually Cullen I made it."

Cullen looked at me in shock, swallowed his food quickly before he spoke. "You did?"

"I did. I'm really not some pampered noble girl. I do know how to take care of myself. I know that's not what you meant." I smiled. "My father thought it was best for my brothers and I to learn some basic skills. You never know. One day my family could lose all of their land and wealth and I would have to fend for myself."

Cullen looked down at his food and then to me. "You didn't have to make me dinner. Really you shouldn't be." His eyes soft. I could tell that it meant a lot to him that I made him dinner.

I smiled. "I wanted to Cullen." I blushed. "For one, it tastes much better and two, we know it's not poisoned." I laughed. "Or maybe it is." I stuck my tongue out at him.

Cullen laughed and then moved in close for a kiss. "Poison or no poison I applicate it. Thank you." He spoke softly and then we shared a kiss. I've fallen hard for this man. Maker knows. I can't blow this. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Couple hours flew by as we spent time in each other's company. He continued to read reports after dinner and I started working on my letter to my father. Every once in a while I would let out a long sigh and Cullen would look up at me with concern. How do I tell my father that I'd love to come see him with all of my crazy friends and also to come tell my mother off?

I looked back at Cullen who was watching. Thoughts going through my head about bringing him to my father's party. Cullen isn't too fond of nobility. I can't say I am either, but I grew up in that life and understand quite a bit of it. It must seem strange to someone that knows nothing about it.

"Is there something on your mind, Rowen? You've been sighing since you started writing that letter to your father." He continued leaning on his desk. Quite a few reports had come in over the hours I had been sitting here with him.

I nodded. "There is something on my mind. My family… Well you and my family."

Cullen raised an eyebrow. "Myself and your family?"

"You don't really have much patience with nobility. With saying that, I'm glad my title didn't scare you off." I blurted it out. No tact or wit attached. Didn't even think about it or try and make it sound better. Have to be blunt sometimes I guess.

Cullen was silent for a moment. What I had said had weight. Depending on who you are, quite a bit of weight or barely any. To me, my nobility status meant nothing to me. I was the last in line and I knew that each my brothers would do a much better job at taking care of our lands than I.

Cullen looked back down at the reports. "I hadn't considered… I have no title outside the Inquisition…" Cullen looked up at me. "I hope that it doesn't – I mean," He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck. "Does it bother you?"

I gave him "Are you kidding me?" look. "It doesn't bother me. Honestly Cullen if it bothered me, I wouldn't have made you dinner and I wouldn't be sitting here stressing out over the thought that you would have a problem with my lineage." I sighed. "I'm sorry. I just… I…" I looked down. Now it's my turn to be unsure of myself. This is all so foreign to me, though not new. He makes me feel… free. Something I haven't felt for years. "The party isn't taking place for a few more months. If we continue down the path that we are on…" I shook my head. "Well either way I'd like you to come with me to the party." I looked at him.

Cullen smiled. "Of course I'll come with you, Rowen." He then chuckled. "I'm sorry making you feel that I am uncertain. I'm not very good at this, am I? If I seem unsure, it's because it's been a long time since I've wanted _anyone_ in my life." Cullen walked around the desk and stood in front of me. He placed his right hand on my hip. "I wasn't expecting to find that here. Or you." He leaned in and kissing me passionately. "Remember earlier today? Remember you said not to overthink it?" His lips inches away from my own. His forehead resting against mine. "Please don't overthink this, Rowen. Bad things happen when you overthink." He smiled and then kissed my nose. He looked past me. "It's getting late. You should go to bed." Cullen didn't move. He kept me pinned between himself and the desk.

"You should also get some rest." I kissed his nose lightly. I stared into his eyes. There was wanting and lust there. He was fighting with himself. I brought my hand up to his face. He leaned his head into my hand. "Another night. Another time. There's plenty of time and no need to rush."

Cullen smiled. "You just said what I was telling myself. Not that I, uh" Cullen stood up and sighed. "May I walk you to your quarters, milady." Cullen backed off and helped me off of the desk.

"Escorted to my quarters by a handsome young Templar, I wouldn't want it any other way." I smiled. "It's too bad you weren't my Templar at the Ostwick circle, though my brothers were great Templars." I held Cullen's hand and walked with him to my quarters.

"Your bothers were Templars?" Shock filled his voice. "And they were in your circle. That's against the rules of the Chantry."

I smiled. "You know well as I do. Marchers really don't play by the rules. Yes my brothers were Templars. As well as my mother and that's all I will tell you about my family while we're out where people can hear."

"Oh that's not fair. You can't tease me like that." Cullen protested.

"Oh but I can. Tis one of the perks." I smiled up at him. I skipped the last few steps to my door. "Get some sleep tonight Commander. We're going to be a whole lot busier for the next few months." I grinned. I looked around the empty throne room. I quietly walked over to him and lightly gave him a kiss. "Everyone will find out sooner or later. Let's continue to hide for a while longer. It's kind of fun."

Cullen chuckled quietly. "Of course you'd say that. You know if you weren't born a mage. I could see you as a rogue so easily."

"Who says I'm not taking lessons from Varric and Sera?" I stuck my tongue out and walked back to the door. "Good night Commander. I shall see you tomorrow." With that I went to my quarters to finish writing the letter to my father and to get a good night's rest.


	5. Chapter 5

Two months have flown by. During that time, I was forced to go to the Winter Palace to save Empress Celene from her wicked cousins, both having their own plots of taking the throne. I want nothing to do with "The Game" ever again. I thought Marcher nobles were crazy. Orlesians are no better. Possibly the worst night of my light, though it wasn't all bad. Cullen and I shared a dance. For growing up in the Chantry, he's extremely light on his feet.

Cullen and I have become closer over the last two months. Everyone knows now. We don't have to hide us. Though our friends tease us quite a bit, and by us I mean Cullen. Whatever they throw at me, I just let it roll off. Cullen on the other hand, poor man gets flustered every time.

It had been a long few days. Dorian, Varric, Iron Bull and I went to the Emerald Graves to help Fairbanks. He needed some help removing the Freeman that had taken over the land. During our time there I found smuggled letters about red lyrium. Cullen might want to read them, maybe we can find out where they're harvesting it.

I stretched and looked back at my friends. Dorian and Bull were giving each other love eyes. I really hope Cullen and I aren't like that. Varric rode beside me. Very unhappy about the whole riding a horse situation. I smiled at him. "Do you want to ride with me the next time?"

Varric looked up at me. "It's not the riding part I have a problem with. It's the horse part I have a problem with. They're so sketchy."

I laughed and patted my sweet chestnut's neck. I had become quite fond of my Fereldan Forder; Master Dennet had given me this beautiful horse during our first encounter. I had acquired many more horses since, but this horse had gotten me through a lot already. "Horses aren't sketchy all of the time. It depends on how well trained the horse is. Master Dennet is the best Horsemaster I've ever known. He knows his stuff." I looked up to see Skyhold just over the bridge. Maker I knew how much I wanted to make my horse gallop across that bridge so I could get to Cullen faster. "You give respect to a horse and they will give it back. You must earn a horse's respect. The reason why I make you guys ride and take care of the same horses." I looked at Varric. "It builds trust. Your horse is so much more comfortable with you now than before. Remember your first ride?"

"I remember that!" Dorian shouted.

I looked back to see Bull and Dorian at the entrance of the bridge. Varric and I were at least half way across by now. I rolled my eyes. "Let's just keep going Varric. Leave those two."

"Good idea. Did you ever think maybe we should mix up who comes with us?"

I laughed. "The thought has crossed my mind, though I still can't look at Blackwall the same since we played Wicked Grace last. And for Cassandra…" I looked up to Cullen's office. He's not looking out his window like he usually does. Actually it looks like he's not there… I looked back down at Varric. "She has other things to do here."

"Like what?" The dwarf was nosy and I didn't mind.

"She's helping Cullen with the young Templars that keep showing up." Varric and I made our horses come to a halt as we waited for the gates to open.

"You would think they would see you coming and go "Oh Maker! It's the Inquisitor! We must open the gates!"" Varric chuckled.

I smiled down at the dwarf. "They usually do." I pointed up. "Someone isn't in his office to bark orders to open the gates."

Varric looked up. "That's strange. He's usually waiting for you." Varric glanced at me. "What did you do?"

"I don't think I did anything." I thought about all of the conversations Cullen and had gone through. There was nothing that came to mind that would be a problem. Well one thing, but I doubt that's it. He had stopped taking lyrium when he joined the Inquisition. That can't be it. He's been making great progress.

Dorian and Iron Bull finally caught up by the time the gates opened. I looked back at them. "Lollygaggers." I smiled.

"Sorry Boss, Dorian wanted to talk to me about something." Iron Bull grinned.

I put my hand up. "I don't need to know because I really don't want to know. Keep your personal affairs to yourselves, please and thank you." I smiled. I kicked my horse forward and walked him to stables.

I demounted from my horse and cleaned him up before putting him into his stall. Master Dennet had enough staff to care for my horse, but I fought him tooth and nail a while ago that I was more than capable to care for my own mount. He respected my wishes and made sure that none of the staff would bother me with my horse, unless I asked for it.

I waved at Varric, Dorian and Iron Bull as I made my way to Cullen's office. Skyhold has grown in these last few months. The repairs were nearly finished and everyone was finally getting settled in.

I made my way up the stairs and into Cullen's office. I needed to speak to him about the letters I had found, business before pleasure as much as we would want it the other way around. I looked around Cullen's office to find no Cullen. There instead is one of his men. I walked over and smiled.

She shifted when she saw me walk into the room. Stood straight and looked straight. "My lady Inquisitor, if you're looking for the Commander, he's gone to speak to with Seeker Pentaghast."

Cullen must be discussing something important with Cassandra... It can't be about the lyrium. "Where are they?"

"They are in the Armory."

I nodded. "Thank you, as you were." I turned and headed to the Armory, Cassandra's favorite place.

I stood outside the door. I clenched my fist. Maybe I should wait until later to talk to Cullen. Did I really want to talk to him or did I want to see him? I had been gone for at least a week. I missed him and maybe he was in pain from not taking the lyrium and hadn't told me. That would be something he would do. Protect me in anyway.

I could hear the pair of them bickering behind the door. Neither sounded happy. I walked in. Cullen stopped what he was saying and looked at me as I walked over. He looked very upset. He looked down and walked past me. "Forgive me." With those words he left the Armory.

"And people think I'm stubborn. This is ridiculous." Cassandra said with a disapproving look across her face and her arms crossed. I watched Cullen walk out. That look he gave me… It pains me to see him like that. He's supposed to be strong. My rock…

The door slammed shut. "Cullen told you that he's no longer taking lyrium?"

I looked at Cassandra. "Yes he told me. I respect his decision. He's been doing well I think."

"As do I. Not that he's willing to listen." Cassandra uncrossed her arms. "Cullen has asked that I recommend a replacement for him." Cassandra noticed the shock on my face and raised her hand. "I refused, Rowen. I don't believe it is necessary. Besides, it would destroy him. He's come so far."

"I agree. I just don't understand. Why didn't he say anything to me about this?" The pain of Cullen not trusting me enough to tell me something so important, it was unbearable.

"Cullen and I had an agreement long before you joined us. As a Seeker, I can evaluate the dangers. And he wouldn't want to…" Cassandra looked away and then looked back at me. "Risk disappointing you."

"Do you think we'd be able to change his mind? We have to do something. There's no reason for him to step down." I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. Why are men so stupid some times?

"If anyone could change his mind, Rowen it's you. Mages have always made their suffering known, but Templars never have. They are bond to the Order, mind and soul. There's always someone holding their lyrium leash. Cullen has a chance to break that leash, to prove to himself – and anyone who would follow suit – that it's possible to break away from the Order." Cassandra smiled. "He can do this. I knew that when we met in Kirkwall. Please talk to him." I watched Cassandra walked back outside to her training dummies.

I glanced over at the fire. I know it's possible for a Templar to break their leash. I have quite a few family members that have broken their leash. Gotten away from the Order and started families. I played with my locket around my neck. It's almost time for us to go to the Free Marches. Maybe Cullen would do well for meeting my family. Meeting people who could help him.

I looked away from the fire and made my way to Cullen's office. Thoughts of what I should say to him. The best I could think of. "Don't be an idiot! You're perfectly fine. Listen to Cassandra." Not really the best thing to say to someone who's having a break down.

I walked up the steps nearest to the stables, much easier than going through the Atrium. I didn't want to deal with Solas today. He's a good friend, but his ranting about demons and spirits can get annoying. He's still a little sore with me because I helped Varric make Cole more human.

I finally got up the stairs to see that Cullen left the side door open. Much easier than knocking, thought I wouldn't have knocked. I made my way over. I smiled. I'll make him feel better. I'll make him see that he's an excellent commander and we wouldn't want anyone else in his position.

Right as I got to the door I heard Cullen release an angry yell and noticed a box being throwing in the air. I dodged it before it hit me. The box collided with the door frame. Luckily I moved. That may have hurt me a little, would hurt Cullen more.

Fear ran across Cullen's face. "Marker's breath! I didn't hear you enter. I –" He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. "Forgive me."

I looked at Cullen. I don't think I've seen him like this. He's angry with himself when he shouldn't be. "Cullen, if you need to talk…"

Cullen started making his way over to me. "You don't have to-" Cullen's legs went out from under him and let out a groan as he used his desk to support himself. "I never meant for this to interfere."

I moved over to him. My poor Cullen. The lyrium truly takes its toll on the Templars. I wish they complained more. Maybe then the mages wouldn't have made such an up roar about being on chains. The Templars were salves themselves. I slowly reached for him. "Are you going to be all right?" Concern filled my voice.

Cullen looked up at me slowly and put his hand up to let me know that he's okay. "Yes… I don't know." Cullen stood up once he had his footing. "You asked me a while ago about what happened in the Fereldan circle during the Blight…" He sighed. This was a lot for him to admit to me. I never pressured him. I asked once and then never asked again. I slowly sat down on the edge of his desk and listened to him. "It was taken over by abominations. The Templars – My friends – were slaughtered." His hand gripped the sword hilt. That's why he always has his hand on his sword. When I thought that I wasn't serious.

Cullen walked away from me. He looked out the window. "I was tortured. They tried to break my mind, and I – How can you be the same person after that?" He was quiet for the moment. I watched Cullen. I hated this. I hated that his past was so dark. What did a sweet man such as him do to deserve a horrible life he has had?

Cullen looked away from the window and then down to his hands. He clenched his right hand as he leaned against the wall. "Still I wanted to serve. They sent me to Kirkwall. I trusted my Knight-Commander, and for what? Her fear of mages ended in madness. Kirkwall's circle fell. Innocent people died in the streets." Cullen looked at me and spoke softly. "Can't you see why I want nothing to do with that life?"

I stood there dumbfounded. This was so much to take in. The man I love is laying his heart out and I can't even respond. I closed my eyes. Of course I can respond. It's simple. I opened my eyes and looked at Cullen softy. "Of course I can. I –"

"Don't, Rowen. You should be questioning what I've done." He rubbed his face and walked over to me. "I thought this would be better – That I would regain some control over my life. But these thoughts won't leave me…" Cullen began to pace in front of me. "How many lives depend on our success? I swore myself to this cause… I will not give less to the Inquisition than I did the Chantry. I should be taking it!" Cullen punched his bookshelf. Those poor books, they didn't do anything wrong. "I should be taking it." He repeated softly.

I slowly stood up. "Cullen, you know… This doesn't have to be about the Inquisition. Is this what you want?"

Cullen looked at me and exhaled. He looked relieved. Was it me he was so worried about? Was Cassandra right? Was he worried that I would think of him after he told me about his past? His past was full of hatred towards mages. "No." He relaxed his hand. I'll heal it later, well only if he wants too. "But… These memories have always haunted me – if they become worse, if I cannot endure this…"

I smiled softy at him. "You can Cullen."

"All right."

I left him after that. He needed some time alone. To relax. To go over everything that happened in his head. I think I need time to think as well. I walked into the Atrium and looked for Solas.

He was read something in Elvish. Probably something to do with whatever the orb was that Corypheus had in possession. He looked up at me. "My friend, what can I do for you?" He studied me. "Did something happen? Are you alright?"

I nodded. "I need a meditation partner. Would you care to join me?"

"Of course." Solas put his book down. "Come, let us go to the garden."

Hours went by. Solas and I were joined by Morrigan and Dorian. All meditating. I would come in and out of my trance to hear some of the former Templars make slight comments about the four extremely powerful Mages, uneasiness in their voices. Most were just trying to pretend that it wasn't happening. Few questioned why we were allowed to do this.

I finally had enough and came out of my trance. I looked over at the Templars that were making the most ruckus. I slowly got up and walked over. I smiled. "Afternoon gentlemen, having a nice day?"

The three men shocked took their positions to address me properly. The eldest spoke first. "Afternoon Lady Inquisitor. We are having a nice day."

"Oh I'm glad. From what I could hear, it seemed like you were uncomfortable with our meditating. Not sure why. We're not bothering anyone." I smiled sweetly. "I'm sorry. I just thought by now everyone would have gotten used to each other and learned to work together. I do understand your discomfort." I turned and started walking away. "Just keep your comments to yourselves next time."

Dorian stood up and stretched. "You're too easy on the men sometimes, Rowen."

"That's the reason why I'm not their Commander." I looked down and sighed.

"Now that we've taken care of our soul, let's go drink. We've been gone for too long." He wrapped his arm around me, protectively. He's like another big brother. Great now I have four of them. "Is everything okay, Rowen? Did something happen with you and Cullen?"

"Kind of, don't worry Dorian. It's okay. It's settled." I looked at him. "Cullen and I had a very important discussion." Well Cullen did most of the talking. I just listened. That's probably what he needed. Not a fiery red head giving him her opinion every two minutes.

Dorian stopped in his tracks and moved in front of me. Both of his hands on my shoulder. He looked at my intensely. "You two are over are you?! I'm going to kill him. How dare he break my Rowen's heart." Dorian stood up and turned towards the Atrium with fireball in hand.

I laughed. "Wait, Dorian. It's not like that. There was no breaking of hearts." Dorian looked back at me. "I promise Dorian. I'll tell you later or maybe not at all. I learned a lot about Cullen." I looked at Dorian sweetly.

Dorian smiled. "Learned something that took a great deal of trust for him to tell you, eh? Alright, I won't push. Shall we go for drinks now?"

I walked around him. "You're the one who caused us to stop." I stepped back outside and breathed in the crisp winter air. I never really liked the cold, but I have gotten used to it. Living in the mountains hasn't been all that easy. You're kind of cut off from the rest of the world.

I looked around Skyhold. It's later in the afternoon, the guards should be rotating right now. The others should be at dinner or at the tavern. I looked up at the battlements and noticed Cullen enjoying the breeze. I really wanted to go to him and make all of his worries go away.

I looked at Dorian. "Rain check on the drinks, I'm needed elsewhere."

"Of course, darling. Go easy on him." Dorian grinned and then continued without me to the tavern.

I walked up the stairs to the battlements and walked over to Cullen. "Beautiful breeze today."

Cullen looked back at me and smiled. "I wanted to thank you… When you came to see me…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "If there's anything…" He sighed and looked away from me. He's back to his normal, adorable Templar self. I smiled how I cannot. He's so cute when he's unsure. "This sounded better in my head."

I grinned. "Seems like you're feeling better, but are you feeling better?"

"I… yes" He looked at me with soft eyes. He still seemed like he was upset with himself. That I can't heal. I can heal physical pain… Not emotion as much as I would like to try.

I moved closer to him, allowing guards pass around me. I looked up at him. "Is it always that bad? You've… I never noticed…" I looked down. I should have noticed. Why didn't I notice?

"Rowen, I made sure you didn't notice." He held my hands. "The pain comes and goes. Sometimes I feel like I'm back there… I shouldn't have pushed myself so hard…"

"I keep telling you that." I nagged.

Cullen laughed. "Yes that you do." He rested his forehead against mine.

"I'm glad you're feeling better. You had me worried." I kissed him lightly and then backed off.

"I am." Cullen turned and looked out at the beautiful view of the mountains that Skyhold provided. I walked over and stood beside him. "I never truly told anyone about what happened to me at Fereldan's circle." He glanced over at me. "I wasn't myself after that. I was angry. For years, I was blinded by that anger. I'm not proud of the man that the fear made me. The way I saw mages… I'm not sure I would have cared about you, and thought of that sickens me." He turned to face me. "Now I can put some distance between myself and everything that happened."

"Thank you for telling me. For what it's worth, I like who you are now." I took his hand. "I care about you. You haven't done anything to change that… Well maybe throwing boxes at me. That might need to stop, but other that." I grinned. "Nothing has changed between us. Maybe we've become stronger. You clearly trust me enough to tell me about your past." I held his hand tightly. I'm so glad he's feeling better. Not sure what I would have done. Why do relationships have to be so hard most of the time?

Cullen smiled softly and held my hand back. "What about you, Rowen? You have troubles of your own. How are you holding up? You have been drinking less."

I rolled my eyes. "The main reason I'm not out drinking every night is because of you. For some reason you take up most of my time. Not sure why that is." Cullen let out a deep throat chuckle. I sighed and shook my head. "Other than that… I'm terrified. There's so much at stake. Too many people rely on us… On me…" I glanced up at him.

"Don't doubt yourself, Rowen. You're doing amazing work. The Inquisition is making great strides and will continue to do so." Cullen noticed my smirking. "And you're giving me a taste of my own medicine. Very mature, Rowen." He pulled me into a great big bear hug.

"Just because I'm giving you a taste, doesn't mean there isn't truth in there." I hugged him back. "Are you ready for tomorrow?"

Cullen sighed and slowly looked down at me. "Not really. Do I really need to go?"

"Of course you do. And after today, I think you will benefit meeting my family. It'll give everyone. Including you. A much needed holiday and I really don't want to go along." I gave Cullen the biggest saddest puppy eyes I could conjure up.

He lightly taped his forehead against mine. "You don't need to give me puppy eyes. All you have to do is ask and I'll gladly be a willing." Our lips touch lightly. Small sparks escaped from my fingertips causing Cullen to moan. I giggled. "Oops. Must have gotten a little excited. I haven't seen you for a few days."

Cullen raised his eyebrow. "Try a week." He stood up and looked down at me. "For some reason I feel like you wanted to tell me something that had nothing to do with us."

"Oh! I had completely forgotten." I reached into my coat pocket and pulled out the letters that I had found in the Emerald Graves. "I found these letters on Red Lyrium smugglers. I thought you would be interested in reading these. They might tell us where the main quarry is." I smiled, bouncing with excitement from what I had found.

Cullen took the letters from me and started looking them over. "This is excellent. What a great find. I'll get right on these." He slowly glanced at me. "After dinner of course and maybe some other things." He grinned and winked at me. Oh he's getting more comfortable with me and our relationship. He's even starting to admit that he likes it when I use magic during… Ahem… our intimate time together. An idea given to me by Dorian. Yup, I never thought about using my magic while having sex to increase the pleasure. I'm a noobie like that.

"I don't know. I have a hard ass of a boss and I really do need to get up early tomorrow. For some reason he's sending me to the Free Marches." I slowly backed away from him. Always keep my eyes on him. "I might be getting a headache." I slowly bit my lower lip. "Not really hungry. I had a long trip. I'm not sure how many more excuses I can make up." I stopped moving. Cullen hadn't moved from where I left him. "Are you coming or have you lost the ability to read through my sarcasm?"

Cullen grinned. "Actually I was giving you a head start." He folded the letters up. He walked slowly down the steps and then ran over to me, swiping me up into his arms. Kissing me deeply as we spun around. We broke apart, breathing heavily. "Did I already tell you that I missed you?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Actually, not you didn't. How much did you miss me?" I looked at him with soft eyes and rubbed my nose against his.

Cullen opened the door to his off. "Let me show you how much I missed you." He kissed me deeply and he kicked the door closed. No one was going to bother us for the rest of the night.


	6. Chapter 6

Sunlight washed over me, slowly waking me. Cullen and I spent all night rolling around in his bed, tangled in his bed sheets. We never ended up eating dinner, reading over the letters or getting ready for our trip last night. I think we needed this time together. The last time we spent all night together was after the Winter Palace. Our first time too.

I nuzzled Cullen's bare chest and opened my eyes slowly. I moved hand slowly and traced each scar on his chest. I rubbed my foot against his leg the best I could because he had both of his legs wrapped around it. His arm that he had wrapped around me slowly moved and I could start to feel him start playing with my sex messed hair.

I slowly looked up at him to see him looking down at me. A content smile was on his face. "Maker's breath you are beautiful in this sunlight."

I blushed and slowly kissed up his neck to his lips. "And you're dashingly handsome in any light." I stretched and smiled. "Good morning to you too." I played with his hair. "Did you sleep well last night?" Unknowing to him, I had cast a spell before I went to sleep. A spell my father used to do to me when I was small to rid the nightmares that would keep me up at night. Hopefully, it works on adults.

"The best sleep I've had in a long time." He smiled. "It was almost like someone had cast a spell on me last night."

"Well who would do something like that?" I slowly sat up. "You know we got nothing done last night."

Cullen grinned. "I anticipated this. I packed before you came back yesterday." He pulled me back down into his arm and rolled on top of me. "So did you cast a spell on me last night?"

I looked him over. Every muscle clenched and concentrated on keeping me pinned under him. Not that I'm complaining. "I did… I'm sorry… I just–" I was cut off by a deep passionate kiss. Cullen continued to kiss me as he removed his hands from my arms allowing me to be free. I wrapped my now freed arms around him. Cullen kissed my cheek allowing me to gasp as he ran his hand down my side and then moved up it to play with my breast. Every time he touched me, it was like a shock of lightening.

Cullen suddenly stopped what he was doing. "Don't be sorry. It was thoughtful. All I dreamt about was you and everything we did last night. You are the most amazing women I've ever known. Don't you ever change." He went back to what he was doing. He slowly kissed down my neck to my chest. Within moments my breast were being cupped and slowly toyed with, with his tongue.

I moan loudly. I really should be quiet up here. All we needed was someone walking and hearing us. We had a few close calls with our dear friends, but I got a pillow shoved in my face. For some reason people always entered when Cullen was pleasuring me.

The door opened and slammed closed. A familiar chuckle came from the ladder. Cullen stopped and looked up at me. I mouth Dorian. Cullen nodded and sighed. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything up there." Dorian's thick Tevinter accident sounded closer than it should.

"Dorian, if I see your face pop up. There will be a fireball meeting it and I will make sure it will hurt." I stretched under Cullen, rubbing my knee against his hard on. Cullen bit his lip to stop himself from moaning. I got a very nasty look from that. I shrugged and wiggled my way out from under him. I grabbed Cullen's furs to cover myself, walked over to the ladder and looked down after making sure that I was covered. "What is it Dorian?"

"I'm sorry to disturb the pair of you, but everyone is getting ready to leave. I believe we're going to a place called the Free Marches for some noble party. I think the family name that was holding it was Trevelyan. Does that sound right?" Dorian smiled up at me. "Shall I tell them you two will be a while?"

I sighed. "You're the bravest man I've ever met. We'll be right there. Can you have Master Dennet ready my horse?"

"Of course darling. See you in a few." Dorian left my sight and within a few minutes the door opened and closed.

I looked back at Cullen. I bit my lip. Naked and all ready for me to pounce on him. Damn it. Why do we have to leave bright and early? Why can't we leave midday? I walked over to my clothes and sighed. "We need to get ready. As much as we don't want to." I started to get dressed. "I still need to pack."

"Rowen." Cullen patted the bed. "I packed your things for you"

I pulled my pants up. "As much as I want too. We both know if I get back into bed with you. We're not going to leave on time." I buttoned my jacket up, walked over and kissed him. "It's going to be a long trip. We should save our energy. I will make sure we'll have plenty of time together once we reach our destination." I walked over to the ladder. I looked back at him; bit my lip one last time. "Well commander. I'll see you in a few." I quickly left before for I jumped him and let him ripped my clothes off.

Half hour went by and I was sitting on my horse ready to go. No one can ever tell me that I'm like most women and take forever to get ready. I looked around at everyone. This party is either going to be really entertaining or really terrible where I will no longer allowed to set foot on Trevelyan land ever again. Shit…

I turned my horse to stand in front of my friends. "Can I say something before we go?"

"Of course darling" Vivienne sat proudly on top of her Orlesian Courser.

Varric chuckled. He knew exactly what I was going to say. Shifted himself in the saddle. He's still uncomfortable. By the time we get the sea he'll be riding with me.

I sighed once everyone was paying attention. "Try… Please try and behave. That doesn't mean don't be yourselves… Just uh…" Well don't I sound like a bitch? I shook my head. "Forget it. Honestly, you guys will be the most entertaining part of the party." I grinned. I looked at Sera. "One thing. No Red Jenny stuff. I've come quite fond of my family."

Sera sighed. "Fine… Wasn't like there was any reason to"

I'm going to regret every minute of this. I looked at Cullen and nodded for him to lead the way. He responded and led us forward. I rode my horse beside him "I'm going to regret this."

Cullen chuckled. "It's going to be fun, Rowen. You know that. Enjoy every moment." He's a lot calmer than I thought he was going to be. Unless it hasn't hit him yet that he's going to be meeting my parents and the man that I'm betrothed too.

Getting to Highover was the easiest part of the trip. Surprisingly there wasn't too much fighting among my companions. There was more fighting with Red Templars, Bandits, wild animals and the occasional Darkspawn.

I relaxed for most of the trip. I let the boys fight. Iron Bull had way too much fun on the way there. I don't think he spent any time on his horse. He had tied it to Dorian's horse about half away, shouted fuck it and went ahead to "kill shit". His words.

By the time we got to Highover, Iron Bull was grinning from ear to ear. He was joined by Blackwall and Cullen. For some reason they needed to make the entire trip a competition. How many baddies can you kill before we get to The Waking Sea? It was pretty cute. Dorian and I were enjoying watching our men get all bloody and sweaty.

Cullen walked over to me once we made it to outskirts of Highover. Grinning like a mad man, led our horses through the streets. I looked down at him. "You look like you spent months out in the wilds "killing shit"" I used air quotations. "Did you have fun?"

Cullen looked up at me and grinning like a small child. "A blast. I haven't had that much fun in a long time."

I pet the top of his head. "I've offered for you to come with us on more than on occasion." I smiled. "I'm glad you had fun."

Iron Bull walked over. "Hey Boss, your man here is a damn good warrior." Slapped Cullen's back. "I cannot wait to fight alongside you more, pretty boy."

I laughed. "He's not really pretty right now. He's all covered in mud, blood and sweat." I glanced down at Cullen and discretely bit my lower lip for only him to see.

Bull laughed his deep throated laugh. "Sorry Boss, I'll make sure when I returned him next time that he's clean." He walked over to Dorian and led their horses.

Once we got to the docks, Josephine lit up. "There she is my family's largest and fastest ship. She'll get us across the sea in no time."

I looked up at the massive ship. "Wow."

Dorian looked at me. "We're not going on that thing are we?" He groaned at the thought of being on the ship.

I looked at him. "Of course we are. How else are we getting to Ostwick? You'll be okay. You'll just be green for a few days." I dismounted my horse with Cullen's help, such a gentleman. "Thank you." I looked at Dorian. "Come on princess. Let's get going." I helped Varric off my horse. He had joined me on my horse two towns over.

There was a lot of moaning and groaning from everyone. We were all tired and I was just waiting for someone to say something and then a fight would break out. The horses were finally settled in stalls on the ship. I was finishing up putting some extra hay into my horse's feeder when the ship set sail. The last part of the trip was upon us. I could feel the anxiety build. I rubbed my arms. It'll be nice to see my family again, but it won't be nice to pretend that I'm not myself. I must be a lady…

I petted my horse's muzzle. It'll be so nice once this is all over. I felt a strong, yet soft hand move around my waist. I didn't even need to look to know who it was. My question, did he clean himself up a little or stayed blood, sweat and mud covered. A little part of me hoped he was still covered in the remnants of battle. I need to pretend that I'm not getting nervous about the whole situation.

I looked up to see Cullen partially cleaned up. He probably wanted to get completely clean, but didn't have enough time. "Well we're half way there." He tried to smiled, but he failed. Shit! He's nervous too. "How come you're hiding down here?"

"I wanted to make sure the horses were comfortable." I turned around and looked at him. "Are you okay?" I moved closer to him. I rested my head on his chest covered furs.

Cullen let a long sigh out. "I–" He looked down at me. "What do you plan on doing, Rowen? You haven't completely told me, I mean your advisors everything." He was right. I haven't told them everything. Really my advisors didn't need to know that my mother planned to marry me off. I should tell Cullen. He deserves to know. Nothing is going to happen between myself and that spoiled brat. I probably grew up with him. If he was who I think he was, I used to tease him with my brothers. The four of us could be mean sometimes. But he always came back for more. I hadn't seen him for years. Honestly I never liked him.

"There is a plan. We're going to see my crazy noble family and," I stood up and nibbled lightly on his earlobe. "I can show you my room." I whispered in his ear. He shivered noticeably. "And the rest of the mansion of course." I backed off. I watched him and thought about how I should tell him about Lord Malice. I held my locket. I rubbed my thumb against it. "Let's go to our quarters. I need to talk to you about something. You're probably going to get upset with me because I didn't say anything until now." I looked up at him with glossy eyes. He's going to be so mad. He might not want me anymore because of this. I lied to him. I always kept pushing the question away with a joke or a kiss. He always knew there was something more that I wasn't telling him. He never pushed it, gave me plenty of time to tell him. Maybe if I had told him, he wouldn't have come with me. I would have tried to make him; he needed to speak to my brothers. Learn from them. Learn to break the chains.

Cullen studied me for a few long moments. Those moments felt like a life time. He was my everything. I had nothing before him. Nothing to fight for. I didn't even care about the Mage-Templar war. He reached his hand up and removed a stray hair from my face. "It's extremely difficult for me to be upset with you, Rowen." He smiled. "Led the way my fearless Inquisitor." He bowed. He was trying to make light of the situation. Failing terribly and not at the same time.

I nodded and headed to my quarters. How should I tell him? I played with my locket. I looked down at it. I accidently flipped the crest when I put it on this morning. The Templar crest was exposed. One would think I was either a Templar or a Mage that sided with them. My father had given me this locket to protect me. When this locket was originally made, it was made for my great-great-great-grandmother. My great-great-great-grandfather wanted something to protect her from harm. It was pasted down to every mage in the family, either to protect them while they're in the circle or from life in general. Just like the coin he gave me. His lucky coin. I smiled. I'm going to Cullen my locket. Something to prove my love to him.

I looked around once up on the upper deck. The salty breeze felt so nice against my skin. Highover was quickly moving out of sight. If we kept up at this speed, we'd be in Ostwick in no time. Oh wind, please die down… Only a little. I looked back at Cullen and smiled. I walked to my quarters. The captain was nothing but generous to allow me to have his quarters… No matter how much I protested. I just finally gave in. The man wasn't going to listen to me.

Cullen held the door open for me as I walked into the room. I looked back at him. "Make yourself comfortable." I pointed towards the bed. Probably the most comfortable thing in the room.

Cullen looked at me with confusion, but didn't question me. He walked over to the bed and sat down. I took my locket off before he noticed. He knew I was fond of it. I had his back to him, holding my locket in my hand. Looking down at it. "You're right… I haven't told you everything" I took a deep breath. "My mother wishes to marry me off." I rubbed my thumb against the locket. "He'll be there when we arrive."

Cullen was silent. Too silent. I didn't like this. It would be better if he yelled. Got mad. Threw things. I clenched my locket. Tears started to form. He was mad and wasn't showing it. He probably wanted to end us. I should have told him. Why didn't I tell him? …I should have told him.

I turned to find him right behind me. I looked up at him with tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry Cullen. I should have told you. I want nothing to do with it. I never did. I want to be with you and no one else. I love you, Cullen."

He said nothing. He just leaned in and kissed me passionately. Everything went away. My problems seeped out of me. All I could feel was Cullen's love.

This wasn't right. Why is he being like this? We slowly broke apart and Cullen looked down at me. Spoke softly. "Rowen." He wiped the tears away. "You're overthinking." He smiled. "You promised."

I began to cry and laugh. "I did, didn't I?" I looked down at my hands. "I want you to have this." I opened my hand to reveal my locket. "To protect you. My father gave it to me when I was sent to the circle. It's been passed down through my family." I looked at him. "I know it's a silly request. But it means a lot to me to have it."

"I would be honored to wear it." Cullen leaned his head down. I placed the locket around his neck, keeping the Trevelyan side to the front. Cullen was smiling from ear to ear. I can't get over this man. I slowly kissed him as he lifted me into his arms. I need this. We need this. Moments like this keep this crazy world making us go completely insane. I hope one day all of our battles will provide a world where everyone can find what we have. No matter who you are.


	7. Chapter 7

I walked out to the cool breeze and stretched. Ostwick was so close. It's probably the most beautiful city in the Free Marches. I grew up here. Both in my family's one mansion and the Ostwick magi circle. Never thought I'd come back here again. I had left after the circles fell. Needed to get away and be safe. When the mages rebelled in my circle, it really didn't end very well. I was working hard to be the next Senior Enchanter when Lydia decided to step down. I was there when she was murdered by one of the younger students. I barely made out of the tower alive.

I could see the tower as we reached closer to the docks. It made me shiver to think of that place the same. I almost hated it now. I rubbed my hands against my arms. Maybe it was just a chill from the wind.

I walked down the steps and stood beside Solas. He was leaning against the side of the ship with his eyes closed. If I didn't know better, I would have thought he was asleep. Not sure how he does his dreaming walking, but I don't think it works well when your body is moving itself away from the memory.

Solas opened his eyes and looked at me. Smiling his sweet smile. "Afternoon my friend. We're almost to our destination."

I smiled back at him. "Almost. But we're not going to the city mansion." I raised my hand. "Yes there's more than one mansion. We're going to summer home. It's so beautiful. There's a lake and plenty of trees. You could get lost for days in the forest." I leaned against the ship. Closed my eyes and imagined my childhood running through the forest with my pure bred Mabari War Hound. I opened my eyes. I'll get to see my sweet boy again. I missed my sweet Grim.

"You look very content, Rowen. Much more relaxed." Solas pointed out.

I looked at him. "I am. This trip is supposed to be relaxing. I can't let my family bother me." I looked back to where there used to be water. Now there was a city and streets. We were about to dock. I looked down at the street to see a small blonde curly haired child bouncing up and down with excitement. My eyes widen. "Bronwyn!" I franticly looked around to see if I was able to see a sight of either my brother or River.

I couldn't see either. Why was my five year old niece here without them? Where were they? Did they know she was here? I stepped on the ledge of the ship.

"Rowen what are you doing?!" Solas protested. "You're not going to jump down there. Look the city guard is going to take care of her. She'll be safe."

I gave Solas a look. "Do you nothing about city guards. Though most of her features are human they're dumb enough to mistake her for an elf. They'll take her the Alienage." With that I jumped down to the streets below. I quickly used my Ice magic to create ledges that used to slow my descent. I swooped Bronwyn into my arms and held her close. I looked up at the guards and gave them a nasty look. "Don't you dare think about touching her. Shove off." I looked down at Bronwyn. "What are you doing here? Where are your mother and your father? You could have gotten hurt." I turned around and looked back up at the very tall ship. Everyone was looking down at me. Cullen trying to recover from a heart attack. I shyly smiled. I looked back at Bronwyn. "Well?"

Bronwyn looked up at me with sweet innocent grin that she always carries on her beautiful face. "Mommy and daddy said you were coming home. I came to bring you home."

I brushed the stray hairs from face. "Did you tell mommy and daddy that you were coming here to bring me home?"

Bronwyn thought for a moment. Her face wrinkled together while she thought. She was the cutest child I had ever seen. She had slight elven features, but you could mistake her for a normal human child. That doesn't mean the guards wouldn't have taken her away. If you looked at her quickly you could easily mistake her. Bronwyn's face changed when she looked up at me. Back to normal, no longer in thought. "No. They were with brother" So innocent.

One of the guards walked over to us. "Miss, is this the young lady Bronwyn of house Trevelyan?"

I looked at him. "Yes she is. And I am her aunt. Lady Inquisitor Rowen Trevelyan."

Fear filled the young man's eyes. He quickly stood noticeably straighter. "Oh. I'm sorry to have bothered you. Her parents are looking for her."

"Tell them that I have her. I'll bring her to the mansion. Thank you." I looked back at the ship as it was just finished docking. I smiled up at everyone as they slowly walked down the ramp to the street.

"You know, Rowen. Most people wait until the ship is at the docks and a ramp to walk down." Dorian walked over to me and Bronwyn. "Now who is this beautiful young lady?"

Bronwyn hide herself in my shoulder, glancing every once in a while at Dorian. "Who is he, Auntie?" She whispered in my ear.

I whispered back. "That's Dorian, your Auntie's best friend. He's really, really cool. I mean come on, you have to be really, really cool to be Auntie's _BEST_ friend."

Bronwyn slowly lifted her head to get a better look at Dorian. "Hi" She whispered.

"My princess." Dorian took a hold Bronwyn's hand, bowed slightly and then kissed her hand lightly. And with that, Bronwyn was mush in Dorian's hands. A sweet little giggle escaped from my niece that I'm usually only able to get out of her.

"Auntie, I like him." Bronwyn announced. Her emerald green eyes fixated on Dorian.

I laughed. "How can you not?" I looked over at Cullen who was making his way over to us. I need to take Bronwyn to my brother. He moved into the Ostwick mansion after he and River had gotten married. I wanted to go there anyways. I need to pick up a couple of things before heading to the summer home. I looked back at Bronwyn. "I also want you to meet Cullen."

"Auntie, these men are really pretty. I like them." Bronwyn giggled as she mentioned her fascination with the men I keep in my company. My brother is going to have a lot of troubles when she gets older. She has everything going for her. He's going to have to catch boys off. Yup my brother is going to want to do some damage control before she gets older and wiser.

Dorian and I both laughed loudly. Cullen looked at both of us with confusion. "Do I want to know?"

I shook my head. "No, you don't." I smiled. "We need to make a quick stop at my brother's"

"I see that." Cullen looked down at Bronwyn and grinned. "Bet you have stories that you could tell me about Auntie Rowen. But you'll have to keep it between you and me." Cullen winked.

"I haven tons of stories!" Bronwyn giggled and hugged me. "I like your friends Auntie."

I smiled. "Me too sweetie." I looked at Cullen. "I'll be back in a few. I won't be long. The house is in the middle of the city. The opposite way we need to go."

"Well then let me come with you. You shouldn't go alone." He insisted. I wasn't going to argue. I'm too tired to and when Cullen wants to do something you really can't convince him otherwise.

"Alright." I looked at Dorian. "Be back in a few. Make sure no one destroys the docks…" I started walking with Cullen and Bronwyn back home.

"Of course!" Dorian shouted as we walked out of sight. Something is going to happen while those lunatics. Dagna is probably going to blow up the docks with all of her supplies. I had brought her along to let her see the world. That and Cullen and I completely believed that she was going to blow up Skyhold if we left her there. Not on propose mind you.

The three mages get along well enough, so I'm not too worried about them. I'm worried about them and my three lovely warriors. Solas makes them uneasy. Something about a mage that shows up out of nowhere willing to help kind of makes everyone uneasy. For some reason Blackwall and Cassandra have it out for Dorian. Understandable, he's Tevinter makes complete sense. Then Vivienne is just Vivienne. No one trusts her. I surely don't. So I'm half expecting to come back to the 6 of them fighting. Maybe Bull holding Dorian back. Cole will defiantly try in and stop everyone from hurting each other because he hates when people are hurting. Sera and Varric will be off to the side watching. Sera killing herself laughing and Varric shaking his head and pretending that nothing is happening, might be keeping Dagna out of the middle of it.

I let out a long sigh and looked at Cullen. "I have a bad feeling leaving everyone behind."

Cullen smiled. "Remember, Lilianna is there. Everyone will behave."

Another sigh escaped my chest, this one composed of relief. "That makes me feel a lot better to hear that." Though Lilianna being there will help a bit, it doesn't mean it'll stop my friends from killing one another.

We made our way through the city. I held Bronwyn close when we walked through the dark parts of the city. How did this little noble princess get through here without being caught? She almost reminds me of me when I was small. My poor brother.

We got to the mansion and I could physically feel Cullen stop and look up at it in awe. I slowed and looked back at him I smiled sweetly. "This is my brother's home. Each of us gave us get a home once we're married." I grinned. "This is nothing compared to the place I'll be getting. You'll see it in a few hours." I reached back for his hand. "Your mouth is open."

Cullen quickly closed his mouth and looked at me. "You grew up here?" He took a hold of my hand.

"I did." I shifted Bronwyn on my hip. She had fallen asleep some time ago. She has gotten so big. I hadn't seen her in so long. I'm surprised she still remembered me.

I walked up to the front doors. As I walked up, they opened. A younger man with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes opened the door, my older brother Vincent. One of the twins. He's starting to look like our father more and more. It was kind of creepy. Poor him. I smiled sweetly. "I found this little girl running around the docks. For some reason I thought she belonged here."

Vincent hadn't noticed us until I spoke. A huge full mouth grin came across his face. He ran over to me and wrapped myself and Bronwyn into a bear sized hug. He laughed. "I should be mad at Bron, but how can I be when she brought my baby sister home." He let go and held me at arm's length to get a good look at me. "Well you don't look any different. No missing limbs, though you're quieter than I remember."

"It's because you're doing all of the talking." I grinned. "Can you take your daughter now? She's getting heavy." I handed Bronwyn over to Vincent. Her beautiful blonde curls had completely fallen out its up do. I rolled my shoulder that Bronwyn was leaning on. I'm not used to carrying things. I'm a mage, not a warrior. Don't really have upper body strength.

Vincent took Bronwyn gently, still as protective and strong as he always has been. He looked from me to Cullen and smiled. "River has everything packed for you, Row. If you want you can grab it now or she can give it to you later. You probably have other things to deal with." He smiled at Cullen. Brought his hand out to shake. "Vincent. Rowen third oldest brother and will kick your ass if you hurt her."

I brought my hand up to my face to cover the embarrassment and shook my head. "Smooth Vince." I heard Cullen chuckle as he shook Vincent's hand. I knew the smile that Cullen was giving my brother. His overly confident, nothing will go wrong smile. Whenever he gives that smile, something always goes wrong.

"I have no plans on hurting Rowen." He moved his arm around my waist slowly. "None what so ever." He kissed the top of my head. He's completely not like himself. He's being so confident. Oh he better not do any of this in front of my mother. She might just explode from anger.

I looked up at my brother. "I'll get my things from River when we get to the summer mansion. One less thing I need to worry about. Probably ruin it if I have it." I leaned over and kissed Vincent on the cheek. "Until then big brother." I smiled.

Vincent leaned into the kiss and smiled. "See you soon little sis. Now to tuck my sweet little girl into bed. Thank you again."

I nodded and walked away with Cullen at my side. Once we were out of sight, I turned and playfully smacked Cullen in the arm couple of times. "What the hell was that about? You're never like that."

Cullen laughed. "Okay, okay, okay" He took a hold of my hand. "I'm sorry. I wasn't going do it in front of your parent's. I figured it was your brother that you're closest too." He kissed my hand softly. "Once I'm anywhere near your parents I'm going to freeze up and stutter and be shy. Everything about me that you think is cute." A sweet smile came across his face just before a kiss was planted on my forehead. "Shall we get back to the others?" He entangled our hands together before I could say anything. I'm surprised he's being so calm.

I glanced over at Cullen as we walked back down to the docks. He's changed. He's so much stronger and confident than before. Did I do that? Did I change him in so way? Would he still be an awkwardly shy Templar stuttering his words around women he enjoyed being with?

A shine of silver light caught my eye against Cullen's chest. He's wearing it. He's wearing the locket that I gave him. I blushed. He cares so much for me.

Once we got back to the docks, everyone was waiting for us. The horses saddled and Dorian had a little bit of colour in his face again. Poor guy doesn't like water apparently. Not sure how he traveled so much.

I got up to my horse and quickly got into the saddle. I looked around at everyone and smiled. "Sorry, lets head out. It's not much further. I'm glad to see that everyone is still intact. Same for this half of the city."

I noticed some glances among everyone. That just proves that something happened and I haven't noticed it yet. They're covering it up very well.

"So is someone going to tell me what happened?" I made my horse move slowly past everyone and took my place in lead. Cullen followed me to the front.

As we pasted no one made eye contact. They kept quiet and looked down. Dorian was the only one that kept his head up with that stupid "I know something you don't know" grin. I just shook my head. Just ignore them, Rowen. They're going to cause more trouble in the coming days.

I'm beginning to regret every second of this…


End file.
